DIE!namite: OUR BLOODY VALENTINE, available from Dynamite Comics on February 3rd, 2021, takes a one-shot detour off the main DIE!namite storyline for a tale of love in the time of zombies. Peter Cannon aka Thunderbolt has developed feelings for Red Sonja as they take refuge in the Red Lama’s citadel, but his quest to seek romance advice from other characters leads to unexpected results.
The Details
- Written By: Fred Van Lente
- Art By: Drew Moss, Lee Ferguson
- Colors By: Kike J. Diaz, Ellie Wright
- Letters By: Hassan Otsmane-Elhaou
- Cover Price: $4.99
Was It Good?
It’s The 40-Year-Old Virgin (2005) set in the Dynamite multiverse with more zombies and less foul language. I happen to enjoy that movie a lot, so if you do too, you will like this comic. If awkward situational humor with a little heart isn’t your cup of tea in a zombie comic, this one may not be for you.
Van Lente’s writing captures the voice and spirit of the different characters well, and he sets up the awkwardness of each scene perfectly. The art is good enough for the type of story Van Lente is telling. The few action scenes are rendered well enough, but it’s the facial expressions and the emotions that sell it. On that count, the art works.
Short Story Long
We begin with Peter Cannon aka Thunderbolt dispatching a wave of zombies outside the walls of the Red Lamas citadel. In an immediately bizarre turn, Cannon sees that the blood splatter from his zombie-killing accidentally(?) painted a portrait of Red Sonja on the wall.
Cut to Cannon entering Red Sonja’s room as she’s waking up. He offers her flowers as a gift, but she’s unmoved by the gesture, especially since the flowers have leftover zombie muck on them. It’s clear by this point Cannon has some romantic feelings for Sonja, but as the kids say these days, he’s got no game.
What follows is a brutally cringe-tastic series of scenarios where Cannon seeks advice from more experienced characters present in the citadel.
First, Cannon approaches Vampirella who meditating in a nearby glen. She explains she attracts suitors with her vampiric persuasion and her obvious physical assets. Cannon leaves unsatisfied since he believes his physical perfection is more than enough for Sonja.
Next, Cannon is accosted by the aging Miss Fury who offers to “show him the ropes” as an older and very experienced woman. Cannon politely refuses the offer before beating a hasty retreat.
Finally, Cannon seeks out Tabu who’s talking on the phone with his partner. What follows is a little comedy of errors as Tabu never really stops talking on the phone while Cannon interviews him, and well, the answers make sense until they don’t, and Cannon simply walks away defeated.
On his way back to his room. Sonja calls cannon up to the lookout. She sees a group of zombies have found their way on to holy burial grounds and the pair climb down to clear the herd. While they walk they debate the merits of fists versus swords and decide to have a little contest to see which is better.
In the end, Sonja wins, and her prize is to receive anything she asks for from Cannon. She requests an explanation of his awkwardness around her of late, and he finally comes clean about his feelings. Sonja sincerely let’s him down by saying she’s not ready to get involved again after losing somebody recently, but she’ll see him when she’s ready. Happy Valentine’s Day!
As with The 40-Year-Old Virgin, there’s humor in the awkwardness but the entire comic is infused with sincerity and heart. The last scene between Sonja and Cannon was surprisingly sweet, and I’m curious to see what the future holds for those two.
Final Thoughts
DIE!namite: OUR BLOODY VALENTINE, available from Dynamite Comics on February 3rd, 2021, is a funny, sweet, awkward, and sometimes gruesome love story. The art is solid and the humor landed in every scene.