BETTIE PAGE (VOL. 4) #5, available from Dynamite Comics on January 27th, 2021, wraps up the mystery of the murderer, the saboteur, and whether or not there really is a volcano on Saint Gorda. In a stunning turn, the characters solved most of these mysteries in the previous issue, but our hero, Bettie Page, figures out the most important question of all: Why?
Was It Good?
All the characters are whacky. The mystery doesn’t make a lick of sense. And there are more plot holes than a pound of Swiss Cheese. Therefore, I loved it!
I’m being a bit cheeky, but yes, I enjoyed this run and it’s final issue very much because it’s not about airtight storytelling. This series, like Bettie Page herself, is all about fun. The series harkens back to the farcical comedies of the 1940s and 1950s, and if you accept the series for what Pacheco is writing, you can just relax and have a good time.
Mission accomplished.
Short Story Long
[SPOILERS AHEAD]
We pick up immediately with the cliffhanger from issue #4 where Bettie and Pal are held at gunpoint by Cooper Johnson. He’s come to destroy any evidence and “dispose” of the witnesses. Johnson prods the friends out into the jungle where we get the answer to one of the series’ biggest questions.
Yes, there really is a volcano on Saint Gorda.
Johnson forces Bettie and Pal to the edge of the volcano, determined to shove them in, when a mystery figure catches him by surprise.
Cut to Constable Alvaro and Joe searching Suzy Sweetwater’s cabin for evidence. Suzy is confronted by the investigators for her part in the crimes when she pulls a knife and tries to escape into the jungle. Suddenly, an elephant crashes through the cabin wall carrying Pal and Bettie on its back.
Yes, it sounds ridiculous. No, it’s not in any way believable. Yes, it’s spectacularly goofy on the page, and that’s the point. This is pure, whacky fun.
The elephant is the mysterious figure that swiped Johnson from behind to save Bettie and Pal from a fiery death.
What happens next is Bettie’s best impersonation of a Sherlock Homes monologue as she begins to explain who committed the murders. Amusingly, several of the supporting characters point out after each of Bettie’s conclusions that those mysteries had already been figured out. But Bettie’s on a roll and nobody is going to stop her.
As Bettie leads the group from one jungle spot to the next to explain what happened, they eventually end back at the volcano lip where Johnson is held captive by a second elephant. With Sweetwater and Johnson in custody, the adventure appears to be over until Bettie actually reveals the answer to a mystery nobody realized was really a mystery.
Why was Suzy Sweetwater trying to sabotage the film?
The answer is elementary, my dear Bettie fans. Suzy Sweetwater is actually Harold’s long-abandoned daughter, and she planned to destroy him for abandoning her and her mother so many years ago.
As the gal pals prepare to leave the island, Pal agrees to turn over her photos to spare the reputations of the film crew. Bettie may have missed out on her big break this time, but the issue caps off with the promise that fame and fortune are just around the corner.
Okay, I’m hamming it up a bit for this review, but it puts a smile on your face when you can read a comic that just tries to make you feel good with some silly fun. Take it for what it is, don’t think about too hard, and enjoy!
Final Thoughts
BETTIE PAGE (Vol. 4) #5, available from Dynamite Comics on January 27th, 2021, caps the current run by solving all the mysteries (that were already solved) in Bettie’s signature style. The story is ridiculous in a clever way and the art projects that classic Hollywood feel. If you’re a fan of classic comedies, Bettie Page, or just some silly fun, this is a recommendation.